


That Old Familiar Feeling

by kcalbnahpro



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-22 13:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2508926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kcalbnahpro/pseuds/kcalbnahpro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cosima and Delphine broke up and went their separate ways months ago, but when both women suddenly meet again they find it hard to ignore those old familiar feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, again! I know it's been awhile since I've updated this story, but I'm hoping there are still some people around who are interested in reading it.
> 
> IMPORTANT: I recently went through and made edits to ALL the chapters within this story. Those who've already read it, I highly encourage you to re-read the new old chapters. The overall story has not changed, but there are new details and some references might be confusing to those who haven't read the updated pages.
> 
> Please note italicized portions indicate flashbacks. Thanks for reading!

_"You want me? As a bartender?"_

_Cosima pointed to herself, her eyes bouncing between Sarah and Bobby. She thought the question had been a joke, but no. Sarah and Bobby were dead serious, and they were waiting for an answer._

_Cosima shook her head. "No No No - That's, like, a really terrible idea!"_

_"C'mon, Cos," Sarah pushed. "Live a little!"_

_"Sarah, I don't know anything about bartending. I don't even know what half those bottles are!" Cosima waved her hand toward the large liquor collection behind the bar, nearly toppling her own glass of red wine in the process._

_"Listen up, Geek Monkey."_

_And thus began Sarah's persuasion campaign._

_There was flattery._

_"You're a geek; you'll pick it up quick."_

_There was guilt._

_"Bloody hell, Cos! Bobby just wants a little time off for herself. Doesn't she deserve at least that? Especially after all those free drinks she's given you over the years…"_

_And finally there were threats._

_"Do this or I won't let you see Kira. Ever. Again."_

_Cosima rolled her eyes. She had to give it to Sarah, she certainly was persistent. Swiveling around in her stool, Cosima took a moment to study Bobby's Bar. It wasn't that big. Cosima thought it could hold – what? – maybe sixty people at most? And that was if it was at capacity, which it never was…_

_"Fiiiiine," Cosima relented. "I'll do it."_

_"Atta girl!" Sarah whooped._

_Bobby pulled the dishrag from her shoulder and dropped it on the bar in front of Cosima. "You're hired, kid. You start tomorrow."_

* * *

Cosima was absolutely one hundred percent correct – she was a shit bartender. Just four hours into her shift she had already managed to break six pieces of glassware (including two wine glasses, which nobody had even ordered), received eight complaints, and messed up several simple drink orders, including a vodka cranberry.

Now she faced her newest challenge – finding the Sloe Gin.

Rum. Vodka. Whiskey. Brandy. Tequila. Cosima found everything, but the gin. Staring at the daunting collection of liquor bottles, she silently cursed Sarah's name.  _It will be easy_ , Sarah had promised,  _it will be fun_. Cosima slid her finger over each bottle's label for what must've been the millionth time.  _Fucking Sarah, this was NOT fun._

"What is it, honey?" the man at the bar slurred out. "Never had a Sloe Screw before?" He waggled his eyebrows. "Need me to show ya?"

Usually a comment like that would annoy Cosima, but she felt bad for the man. Ten minutes ago he had ordered a simple cocktail and here he was, still waiting.

"Ya know, sweetie, you've gotta be the worst bartender I've ever met."

"Cheers to that," Cosima agreed, raising an empty glass to him. See? Even a drunk could see didn't belong behind a bar. "Tell that to the manager."

"Tell me what?"

Sarah suddenly approached the pair, and as Cosima opened her mouth to regale Sarah with her latest failure as a bartender, the drunk went off on a new tangent (as drunk people do).

"Wait, wait, wait," he slurred out, pointing between the two women. "Let me guess, you're the smart one and you're the wild one."

"Would you believe were clones?" Sarah asked, humoring the drunk. "Now, what can I get you?" She leaned forward on the bar and flashed him a smile. If that man had been angry earlier, he certainly wasn't now.

Again, the man asked for a Sloe Screw, but this time there was no ten minute wait. In fact, it was more like ten seconds. Cosima watched as Sarah reached around her, easily finding the elusive Sloe Gin liquor among the assortment of bottles. Then she reached under the bar and retrieved a carton of orange juice. With a pour here, splash there and an orange slice for garnish the drink was complete.

"You could teach her a few things," the man slurred out, pointing at Cosima. He raised the drink to his lips for a sip, but not before adding, "She's lucky she's hot."

Sarah chuckled and snatched the man's money from off the bar. "Yeah, yeah… Now piss off."

As the drunk stumbled off, Sarah turned toward Cosima.

"You weren't kidding, Cos. You  _are_ a shite bartender," Sarah said with a smirk. Reaching behind her, Sarah pulled a bottle of whiskey from the wall and two shot glasses. "Maybe this will help…" Sarah's words suddenly trailed off as she squinted into the bar crowd. "Shite."

Unable to form words, Sarah just nodded and tilted the whiskey bottle, using it to point at something in the crowd. Cosima followed her gaze. And then her eyes found her – Delphine Cormier.

Cosima squinted through thick frames, following Delphine as she easily maneuvered through the packed bar. Once upon a time Cosima had known the blonde very well… Or at least she thought she had. Delphine looked different now. Yes, she was still very tall and incredibly beautiful; however, gone were her perfectly coiffed blonde curls, replaced now with smooth, sleek tresses.

"What the bloody hell is she doing here?" Sarah growled. She ran a hand through her hair and resumed her earlier task of pouring out two whiskey shots. "Here," she said, sliding them toward Cosima. "I think you'll need these more than me."

Cosima grabbed the drinks, downing them easily in one then two. She winced as the harsh liquor burned its way down her throat.

"Atta girl, Cos," Sarah said, patting her back. "Just say the word and I'll toss her willowy ass outta here."

And then Sarah was called away by another customer.

Cosima, however, remained rooted to the spot. With her heart thumping madly, she followed Delphine step for step until the only thing that stood between them was the bar.

"Bonsoir, Cosima," the blonde said softly. "It's been awhile, no?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Bonsoir Cosima," the blonde said softly. "It's been awhile, no?"

As Delphine settled onto one of the bar stools, Cosima stole a glance. Everything about the Frenchwoman felt so familiar, and yet so foreign. How long had it been since Cosima last saw her hazel eyes? Those faultless lips? Cosima ticked back the months in her head, her eyes never leaving the blonde's lips.

"Cosima?"

The voice startled Cosima. How long had she been staring? And more importantly, had Delphine noticed? By her slight smirk, Cosima knew she had.

"What are you doing here, Delphine?" Cosima finally said, a slight blush now tingeing her neck. She kept her words short – neither friendly, nor cold – and her eyes straight ahead.

"You're a hard person to track down, you know that?" Delphine said, giving a weak smile. When Cosima didn't say anything the blonde sighed and redirected her attention to the alcohol bottles lining the wall. "How about a drink? I'll have a-"

"Red wine," Cosima finished, grabbing a wine glass. "I know, I remember." It was always red wine for Delphine – always – and Cosima found a certain comfort in the familiar rhythm. "So," Cosima said, sliding the alcohol toward the blonde, "you're looking different these days."

Delphine gave a little laugh. "I needed a change, I guess," she said, running her fingers through her now straightened hair. "What do you think?"

Cosima hesitated. A rush of replies tumbled through her brain, some snarky and others just downright mean. Finally Cosima settled for the truth. "You look good."

Delphine blushed and took a sip from her wine glass. "Thank you. You look good too."

The two women got locked in a stare before Cosima shook her head and cleared her throat. "So, uh, how did you find me?"

"Scott," Delphine said. "He's worried about you."

Cosima rolled her eyes. "Scott… Should've known."

"Don't be mad at him; he's worried. He doesn't understand why you left your job at DYAD… He thinks he did something." Delphine readjusted herself so she was leaning further over the bar. "Listen, if you quit because of me… or because of what happened between us-"

"Wow, you certainly think highly of yourself," Cosima interrupted. She didn't look at the blonde when she said it, she couldn't. Truth is, Delphine  _did_  play a factor in her decision to quit the DYAD Institute, but she'd never admit that to the Frenchwoman. Hell, she'd never admit that to anyone but herself.

"Well, what am I to think, Cosima?" Delphine pushed. "We stopped seeing each other, and a couple weeks later you were gone!" Her voice rose with each word.

"Wow," Cosima said. "You know, I think that's the first time you've ever acknowledged out loud that we were together."

"Cosima," Delphine sighed. "I didn't come here to fight."

"Right, which brings me back to my original question." Cosima placed both hands on the bar and leaned forward. "What are you doing here, Delphine?"

"I'm leaving."

"Leaving?" Cosima furrowed her brow, her heart suddenly thumping in her chest. What did she mean "leaving"?

"I'm moving. To Frankfurt. With Martin."

Each bit of new information was like a punch to the gut. Cosima's heart now thumped uncontrollably, her breaths coming out in shallow puffs.

"Martin is being transferred to the DYAD Institute in Germany. I'm going with him," Delphine explained. "I leave at the end of the month."

Cosima gave a condescending snort. "Look at you being the dutiful girlfriend."

Delphine rolled her eyes. "Cosima, this wasn't meant to hurt you; I came to say goodbye." Tentatively, Delphine reached her hand out, placing it atop Cosima's. "You're important to me, whether you believe me or not, and you deserve a proper goodbye."

Cosima stared at their two hands together, once again finding comfort in that familiar touch…

"Oi, Oi!" Sarah yelled. "I could use some help here, Cos." The brunette ran past the pair, an assortment of beer bottles balanced in her hands. "Tell blondie it's time to take a hike!"

Cosima pulled her hand out from under Delphine's warm touch. "Sorry," she said, giving a feeble shrug. "Duty calls."

She slipped away from Delphine, throwing a final glance over her shoulder. Cosima knew the blonde was disappointed, she could see it etched on her face. Their conversation had been far from over, and yet Cosima thought she'd heard enough.

Cosima spent the rest of the night mixing drinks (sort of) and stealing glances at Delphine. Several times she'd catch the blonde staring back, but no more words were exchanged between them, and then at some point Delphine left. Cosima stared at the Frenchwoman's empty bar stool, the only evidence of her visit being an empty wine glass, some dollar bills, and a cocktail napkin.

Cosima cleared the items from the bar. The wine glass was placed into a bus bucket. The bills were dropped into the tip jar. And the napkin was tossed into—

Cosima suddenly halted her movements, a familiar looping handwriting just visible on the napkin's surface. She smoothed out the little piece of paper, revealing its whole message:

**_Please meet me for coffee tomorrow.  
You know the time and place…_ **

* * *

_"Please, Scott. This cannot wait."_

_Delphine pushed the samples at the young man again, but again he held up his hands and shook his head in refusal._

_"I'm sorry, Doctor Cormier," he said, looking genuinely sorry. "You know the rules – first come, first serve. We'll process your lab samples as soon as we can, but you can start by filling out the intake forms."_

_He handed her a clipboard of papers. With a sigh, Delphine grabbed the forms and took a seat at the lab table. She raked her fingers through her blonde curls as she began checking boxes on the intake forms._

_"Maybe I can be of help?"_

_Cosima slid her chair over to the pair, having overheard their conversation._

_"Cosima Niehaus, sequencing tech," she said, introducing herself. "And not a total square like Scott here."_

_She clapped the young man on the back, who mumbled something about 'rules being rules.' Delphine giggled as she held her hand out to Cosima._

_"Delphine Cormier, immunologist. Enchantée."_

_Cosima shook Delphine's outstretched hand, sending the blonde one of her signature toothy smiles. "What can I do for you, Doctor Cormier?"_

_"I need these processed," Delphine said, holding up the samples. "I meant to bring them down yesterday, but I got sidetracked. Doctor Nealon is expecting the results today. Like now, actually."_

_Cosima let out a low whistle. "Ooo that's not good," she said, grabbing the samples from Delphine. "Have you ever seen a pissed off Nealon? It's not a pretty sight." She took her time studying the samples, twisting them, holding them to the light – basically making a show of it._

_"Can you do it?" the blonde asked, her eyes pleading._

_"Gee, I don't know…" Cosima tapped her finger against her chin in an exaggerated movement._

_"Please, Cosima…"_

_"Okay, your wish is my command," Cosima said. "Under one condition, though."_

_"Anything. Please."_

_"Meet me for a coffee after work?" Cosima asked. "I'm going to need a little pick-me-up after all this rule breaking. Plus, there's this great little place – Fung's – just around the corner. They have, like, the best coffee in town. I swear." Cosima's hands gestured wildly as she babbled on._

_"I thought you said it was only okay," Scott interjected. He scooted his chair next to Cosima._

_"Huh?" Cosima asked. She had forgotten the man was there._

_"Fung's coffee," he continued. "You said yesterday it was only-"_

_"The best!" Cosima interrupted. She glared and Scott, willing him to get the hint. "I said it was only the best place in town,_ _ remember _ _?" Cosima narrowed her eyes at him._

_Scott stared at her with a confused look. "No… I distinctly remember-" Cosima suddenly kicked his chair, sending the man spinning in circles. "Ah, don't! You know I get motion sickness."_

_"You know I get motion sickness," Cosima mocked._

_Scott opened his mouth to speak, but Delphine beat him to the punch._

_"It's a deal." Delphine said._

_Both Cosima and Scott turned to face the blonde. "What?" they asked in unison._

_"You. Me. Coffee after work. It's a deal," she clarified. Then with a playful smile she added, "Now get to work."_

* * *

The remainder of the night went more smoothly for Cosima as she gradually picked up the bartending basics. So much so, that by the end of the night she had more tips than complaints.

"First night in the books and the place is still standing," Sarah said, locking the door to Bobby's Bar. "I'd call that a success." Sarah gave the door a final tug, double checking the lock. "So, what did Delphine want anyway?"

"She's um…" Cosima found it difficult to say the words aloud. "She's leaving. Moving to Germany, I guess."

"Yeah? Good riddance," Sarah said, slinging an arm over Cosima's shoulder. When she caught Cosima's withdrawn expression; however, she softened her tune. "You might feel like shite right now, but trust me, Cos – her leaving – it's a good thing. "

Cosima pulled the napkin from her pocket and held it out to Sarah. "She wants to meet me."

"Fuck that," Sarah said, snatching the piece of paper from Cosima. "That has bad news written all over it."

"She just wants to say goodbye."

"Bloody hell, Cos!" Sarah groaned. She wheeled around to face Cosima. "You two broke up… or stopped fucking… or whatever the hell you two were doing months ago – just leave it alone. If she wants to say goodbye, tell her to send it in a postcard." For a second time that night, Sarah tossed an arm over Cosima's shoulder. "Let her go. It's for the best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

_Let her go. It's for the best._

Sarah's advice repeated itself in Cosima's head, even as she sank down into one of the cushioned armchairs at Fung's. She had promised Sarah she wouldn't meet Delphine, but that didn't mean she couldn't  _see_ her. And so that's how Cosima found herself at Fung's clad in one of Sarah's leather jackets, her dreadlocks tucked away under a beanie. As an extra layer of precaution, Cosima even swapped her signature specs for a pair of contacts.

"Shit," Cosima mumbled to herself, checking her watch for the umpteenth time. "What am I doing?" She was anxious. She felt exposed. She couldn't stop moving. Cosima tugged at her hat, careful to tuck away any errant dreads. She scanned the coffee shop. And then she checked her watch again. She could just walk away right now…

And then the little bell above the door jingled.

Too late. Delphine was here.

Cosima watched as the Frenchwoman entered the small café, pulled her sunglasses from her face, and scanned the shop. Lunging forward, Cosima snatched a magazine from the table and raised it over her face. Delphine's search was slow, her eyes bouncing from table to table, and when she didn't find Cosima she approached the counter and held up two fingers – two coffees.

* * *

Cosima thought the blonde looked so lonely sitting by herself. Since her arrival twenty minutes earlier, Delphine had fallen into a pattern of checking her watch, scanning the shop, and sipping her coffee. Across from her, the other coffee cup – Cosima's, presumably – sat untouched.

_Check. Scan. Sip._

_Check. Scan. Sip._

Cosima couldn't take it anymore. Just seeing her wasn't enough, not when she was this close. Perhaps one little hello wouldn't hurt… Cosima began lifting herself from the chair, when suddenly the door jingled again and in walked Sarah Manning.

"Shit. Fuck." Cosima fell back into the armchair with a thud and frantically raised the magazine over her face again. She could feel her heart thumping wildly. Her breaths came out in short puffs. Delphine might not recognize her, but Sarah certainly would, even without the glasses…

Sarah stomped inside the shop and stopped. With a look right, then left, her eyes landed on the petite blonde in the booth all by herself.

"Sarah?" Delphine questioned. "What are you doing-"

"She's not coming," Sarah interrupted, plopping herself in the seat across from the blonde.

Cosima couldn't help but notice how Delphine's shoulders visibly sank at the news.

"This for me?" Sarah then asked, pointing to the cup of coffee in front of her. Without waiting for an answer, she took a large sip and nearly spat the liquid back out. "That tastes like shite."

"It was meant for Cosima. It's her favorite."

Sarah slid the cup aside and leaned forward in the booth. "Listen, whatever game you're playing at, it needs to stop."

"Game?" Delphine asked, furrowing her brow. "What are you talking about, Sar-"

Sarah held up her hand. "Cos says your leaving. That true?"

Delphine nodded. "To Germany. I leave-"

Sarah held up her hand again. "Good. Have a safe flight." Then leaning in further she added, "And don't come 'round the bar looking for Cosima anymore."

Sarah moved to leave, but Delphine grabbed her by the wrist.

"I lo-"

"Delphine, just stop," Sarah interrupted, pulling her arm from the blonde's grasp. "Do us all a favor and stay away, yeah?" She rose from the booth and tossed a couple dollars on the table. "Here, for the coffee."

Delphine waved a hand. "It's already paid for," she said, keeping her eyes downcast.

"Then use it to send Cos a postcard from Germany." Sarah slid the crumpled dollars closer to the blonde. "I mean it, Delphine. Stay away."

* * *

Cosima was distracted. She couldn't stop thinking about Sarah and Delphine's conversation at Fung's. Three days had passed since she'd overheard the exchange, and yet it was still the only thing on her mind. She replayed the conversation in her head hourly, analyzed it from every angle. How had Delphine said this? How had Delphine reacted when Sarah said that? She was thinking about it again as she scrubbed at the bar counter. And with each thought, Cosima scrubbed harder and harder.

"Scrub anymore and you'll polish a hole clean through."

Cosima ignored Sarah's comment, sliding away from the brunette to scrub another section of the bar. Ever since the coffee shop encounter, Cosima was more than a little irked with Sarah. She couldn't say anything though, because Cosima never told Sarah she was at Fung's that day, and in turn, Sarah never said word about her visit to the coffee shop. Since the conversation; however, Delphine had been noticeably absent.

"Beer shipments came in this morning, so the backroom needs organizing," Sarah said. "Think you can manage the bar alone for a bit?"

It was quiet weekday night, just a handful of customers. Without turning toward Sarah, Cosima gave a nod.

※ ※ ※

With an hour till bar close, there wasn't a soul at Bobby's Bar. Sarah had left sometime earlier to put Kira to bed, leaving Cosima in charge. Cosima didn't mind though. She rather liked having the place to herself, especially when she had so much on her mind…

"Cosima."

There it was. That voice. Her voice.

Cosima wheeled around, her eyes landing on Delphine's lone form. The blonde smirked as Cosima. Finally she marched to the bar, taking the seat directly across from Cosima.

"Delphine," Cosima breathed out. "What're you doing here?" Instinctively Cosima reached for the red wine.

"Non," Delphine said, waving a hand. "Whiskey."

"What?"

"A shot of whiskey."

Cosima gulped. "Are you sure…?"

* * *

_"One… two… three!"_

_Delphine and Cosima clinked their shot glasses together and tossed back the whiskey, grimacing at the alcohol's lingering aftertaste._

_"Oh, that's awful!" Delphine laughed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She placed her glass on the bar counter and pushed it away. "I should've ordered wine."_

_"Where's the fun in that?" Cosima grinned. "Another?"_

_Before Delphine could even reply, Cosima motioned to the bartender for two more shots._

_"Cosima!" Delphine laughed. She swatted at the woman's arms, hoping to pull them down before the bartender noticed, but it was too late._

_"How're we doing tonight, ladies?" The bartender asked, stopping in front of the two women. "What can I get you?"_

_"Two more of these, please!" Cosima smiled, sliding the empty shot glasses toward the man._

_"What're we celebrating?"_

_Cosima and Delphine looked at each other. Finally Cosima blurted out, "Science!"_

_"Right on," the bartender laughed, pouring out three shots. He slid one to Delphine, another to Cosima, and kept the third for himself. He raised his glass. "To science!"_

_"To science!" Cosima and Delphine said in unison. All three clinked their glasses before tossing back the amber liquid._

_Once again, the bartender collected the shot glasses and began pouring more whiskey into them._

_"Oh, no. No more," Delphine said, waving her hands._

_The bartender just smiled and continued to pour. "Science is all about trial and error, right? Finding what works and what doesn't. Experimenting…" He looked between Delphine and Cosima before sliding each a glass._

_"Actually," Cosima said with a shrug, "it's more or less just poking at things with sticks."_

_The bartender laughed, not just at Cosima's joke, but that she clearly missed the double meaning behind his words. With a raise of his glass he said: "To experimenting!"_

_Before Delphine or Cosima could join the toast, the bartender downed his alcohol and rushed off to help another customer, but not before sending a knowing wink in the girls' direction._

_"To experimenting?" Cosima asked, holding up the whiskey shot and giving it a little shake._

_"To experimenting," Delphine agreed. She clinked her glass against Cosima's and tipped the alcohol back._

※ ※ ※

_"Merde…" Delphine said in between giggles. She stumbled into the unfamiliar apartment, her right arm looped with Cosima's left. She leaned on the shorter girl for support. "I think I'm drunk."_

_"Yeah, ditto. Obvs," Cosima agreed. She stumbled through her apartment, pulling the blonde with her. Together they nearly tripped over the desk, then a chair, before finally falling onto the couch. Both women erupted in giggles. "Water. We need water."_

_Cosima pulled herself from the couch and stumbled her way into the kitchen. As she reached inside the fridge for the bottled waters, she suddenly felt a pair of hands wrap around her waist. Turning, Cosima found Delphine behind her, a small smile playing at her lips._

_"I didn't hear you come in," Cosima smiled. She held out a bottle to the blonde. "Here, this should help."_

_"Merci," Delphine said, taking the bottle. But she didn't drink from it; instead she set it aside on the counter, her eyes never leaving Cosima's._

_Cosima frowned. "Would you like something else?" she asked. Cosima felt herself getting warm. Delphine's gaze was intense. "I think I have some juice or-"_

_"Non, water's fine." Delphine said. Now she was chewing at her bottom lip._

_"What?" Cosima asked with a nervous giggle. "Why are you looking at me like that?"_

_"I just…" Delphine looked away. "Can I try something?"_

_"What?" Cosima asked again, her voice wavering._

_Delphine looked up at Cosima and took a step forward. Then another. Suddenly they were only inches apart. Cautiously Delphine raised her hand to Cosima's cheek, tracing a path along her jaw. With each stroke, Delphine's eyes turned darker…_

_"Delphine," Cosima breathed out. Her eyes fluttered closed at the blonde's touch. "What are you-"_

_"Shhh," Delphine lightly stroked her thumb over Cosima's lips. "To experimenting, right?"_

_Cosima's eyes shot open at Delphine's words. She was dreaming, right? Cosima stood rigid, as Delphine began exploring further. The blonde's fingers teasingly traced along Cosima's lips, then her jaw, then down the back of her neck._

_"Delphine…" Cosima groaned._

_Suddenly Delphine leaned forward and brushed her lips against Cosima's. It was a light, barely there touch. Cosima responded immediately, wrapping her hand behind Delphine's neck and pulling her forward. Their lips crashed together in a searing kiss. Frenzied hands roamed new territory. Cosima pushed Delphine forward until she had the blonde pinned between herself and the counter._

_"Fuck," Cosima huffed out, leaning her forehead against Delphine's shoulder. "What are we doing?"_

_"We're finding what works," Delphine breathed out. She tugged Cosima's chin up, locking eyes with her."Trial and error."_

_Again, Cosima pulled Delphine forward, kissing her hungrily. Eventually her kisses moved from the Frenchwoman's mouth down to her neck. With each nip, Delphine released breathy sighs and gasps. It was only when Cosima sucked at her pulse point that a low moan erupted from the blonde._

_"Shit," Cosima sighed, her chest rising and falling with each breath. "I fucking love science."_

* * *

"Cosima?" Delphine called out, waving her hand at the woman. "My drink?"

Cosima shook her head, suddenly finding herself back to reality. A scan of her surroundings revealed two things: One - Bobby's Bar was still empty. And two - Delphine was still there, and she was waiting for something.

"My drink?" Delphine repeated.

"Shit, sorry," Cosima said with a shaky breath. With trembling hands she began preparing the beverage. Every so often she would sneak a peek at Delphine, though the blonde no longer looked at her. Finally Cosima slid the whiskey to Delphine. Without a second thought, Delphine tossed the alcohol back and handed the empty glass back to Cosima.

"Another."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

_Another._

_Another._

_Another._

And so the night continued like that, with Cosima pouring and Delphine tossing the alcohol back. Not a word was exchanged between the two women.  _Pour. Drink. Repeat. Pour. Drink. Repeat._  Every so often Delphine would falter, the harsh liquid causing her to grimace, but it never deterred her from sliding the glass back across the counter asking for more.

"Another."

Cosima peered at Delphine, watched as she bit her lip, watched as she waited for the amber liquid to flow from the bottle. She could see the alcohol was already having an effect on the blonde. Her movements were no longer precise, her coordination somewhat unbalanced, and yet she showed no sign of stopping. So Cosima did.

"No," Cosima said, setting the bottle of whiskey on the counter. "You're done."

"No?" Delphine narrowed her eyes at Cosima, challenging the brunette. When Cosima didn't budge, Delphine pulled a handful of bills from her purse and slapped them on the bar. "Another."

Cosima shook her head and pushed the money back to the blonde. "I mean it, you're cut off."

"Give me the drink."

"No."

"Just give me the damn drink, Cosima!" Delphine slapped her hand on the bar, causing Cosima to jump. The two women stared at each other, neither saying a word until finally Delphine dropped her gaze. "Forget it," she mumbled. "I'll just go elsewhere."

Cosima watched as Delphine slowly lowered herself from the bar stool. With unsteady steps, she stumbled toward the exit.

"Delphine, wait."

Cosima ran after the blonde, catching her by the arm just as she was about to walk out the door. Delphine stopped, her drunken body swaying at the disruption. She turned to look at Cosima, her half-lidded eyes dancing between the smaller woman's eyes and lips.

"What do you want?" Delphine slurred. Her body swayed dangerously and Cosima instinctively reached out to steady her.

"Let me walk you home. Please." Cosima said. When Delphine didn't protest, she gently tugged the blonde inside. Several minutes passed as Cosima slowly guided the wobbly woman back to the bar. Several minutes more and she had her safely settled onto a barstool. "Now don't move. I just need to grab my coat."

Cosima cautiously backed away from Delphine, who smiled at her lazily. When Cosima finally entered the backroom, she collapsed against the wall and slid down, taking a deep breath.

"What the fuck am I doing?" Cosima groaned, dropping her head in her hands. This was a bad idea. She knew she should stay away from the blonde, but when it came to Delphine there was always a desire – a need – to help her. Even after all these months.

But wait. Delphine had Martin now; it wasn't Cosima's place to save her anymore. Cosima's head popped up. But where was he? Why wasn't she with him right now? Cosima reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She could call Martin. After all, she did still have his number from her days at the DYAD Institute. Cosima pulled up his contact, her finger hovering over the call button.

And then the jukebox started playing.

Cosima rushed back out to the bar and stopped dead in her tracks. Delphine was no longer in her seat; instead, she now leaned against the jukebox. Her back was to Cosima as she absentmindedly flicked through the machine's music catalog, her hips slowly swaying to the current song. As if on cue, Delphine turned and locked eyes with Cosima.

Cosima was frozen, rooted to the spot. She couldn't take her eyes off the blonde. Suddenly Delphine began swaying her whole body, her eyes never leaving Cosima's. Slowly she dragged her hands over her body. One hand went to comb through her hair, leaving the straightened locks swept messily to one side. And then she held her hand out to Cosima.

Like a moth to a flame, Cosima felt herself being pulled toward the blonde. She hungrily scanned the taller woman's body, getting lost in the way her hips rolled in time with the music. Just a couple more steps and she could reach out and touch…

_She had Martin now_.

Instant buzzkill. Cosima stopped and backpedaled from the blonde. Instead she bent down and pulled the plug on the jukebox, causing the music to die with a groan.

"We should go," Cosima said. She kept her eyes downcast as she passed by Delphine. "I'm sure Martin is worried about you."

Delphine said nothing as they exited the bar, and it was only when Cosima led her in the wrong direction that she protested.

"Your place," Delphine slurred out.

"But yours is closer," Cosima said.

Delphine shook her head. "I … li … wi Martin now."

"What?" Cosima leaned closer trying to catch the words.

"I live with Martin now."

Cosima froze, the new information hitting her like a punch to the gut. "You two live together?"

Delphine nodded.

"Shit," Cosima breathed out, "you two are, like, serious." The new piece of information rattled Cosima; she didn't know how to process it.

"Your place," Delphine said again. "Please."

Cosima hesitated. Finally she turned to the blonde and simply said: "Okay."

* * *

"You didn't come."

Cosima jumped at the sudden words. They weren't loud, in fact the words were barely a whisper as they left Delphine's lips, yet in the silent apartment they sounded deafening. Cosima twisted to look at the blonde who sat curled on the opposite end of the couch. She kept her eyes downcast as her fingers picked at the paper label on her water bottle. Cosima thought she looked so vulnerable.

"What?"

"Fung's," Delphine said. Finally she looked at Cosima. "You didn't meet me."

"I..," Cosima faltered. "I guess I wasn't ready to see you again."

Cosima dropped her head. For some reason she couldn't bring herself to tell Delphine the truth, the truth that she  _was_ there that day, that she  _had_ witnessed the whole exchange between Sarah and herself.

"Sarah showed up," Delphine said.

"Oh?" Cosima turned to look at the blonde. "What did she want?"

"She told me to stay away from you."

Cosima chuckled at Delphine's brutal honesty. "And I see you took her advice to heart."

The two women shared a giggle before slipping into a comfortable silence.

"I miss you."

Delphine's confession was but a whisper, and when Cosima turned to look at her, she found the Frenchwoman staring. Cosima considered the blonde, recognized the familiar spark behind her half-lidded eyes. Delphine bit at her bottom lip as her eyes dropped to Cosima's lips. Slowly she slipped closer to Cosima.

"I miss your hands. I miss your lips," Delphine said, sliding closer. She raised a hand to caress the smaller woman's cheek. "We were always good together, weren't we?"

Cosima nodded as she leaned into the touch. Much like at the bar, she felt herself being pulled into Delphine's orbit. Her eyes fluttered closed as the Frenchwoman slipped even closer, leaving no space between them. Gently, with both hands, Delphine turned Cosima's face toward her own. And then she pressed her soft lips to Cosima's own.

Cosima immediately got lost in the kiss. It was dizzying. It was electric. And as Delphine's nimble fingers traced over her jaw, Cosima slipped a hand up the blonde's thigh. It was just like old times and Cosima found a certain comfort in the familiarity. They were always good together.  _Were_.

"Fuck," Cosima said, jerking away. She jumped from the couch, putting distance between herself and Delphine. "We can't do this," Cosima huffed out. "This," she said, pointing between herself and the taller woman, "can't happen."

"Do you want me to go?" Delphine asked in between labored breaths.

Cosima stared at the taller woman. She could say no. That's how she'd always answered in the past. But Cosima didn't want the past anymore. The past was filled with mistakes and heartbreak. And so that night Cosima did something she had never done before – she listened to Sarah. She let Delphine go.

"Yes," she whispered, "I think you should go."

Cosima could see the embarrassment and hurt on the blonde's features as soon as the words left her mouth. That wasn't the response Delphine was expecting.

"I'm so sorry," Delphine said, her voice wavering. She scrambled from the couch and made a beeline for the door. As she pulled it open, she turned and whispered through tears, "Goodbye, Cosima."

And then Delphine was gone.

* * *

_There it was again – the knock at the door._

_Cosima had learned to wait for the knock. She knew who was behind that knock. It had been happening for months now. Nearly every night Delphine would stumble into her apartment for sex, only to be gone without a trace the very next morning._

_And yet, Cosima always waited for the knock. No, she yearned for it._

_Delphine knocked again._

_"Hey," Cosima smiled as she pulled open the door. She found Delphine leaned against the door frame. Her eyes were half-lidded and she sported a drunken smile._

_"Bonsoir, Cosima," Delphine slurred. She leaned down and planted a quick kiss on the smaller woman's cheek before pushing past her._

_"Would you like some wine?" Cosima asked. She pointed at the two prepared wine glasses on the coffee table. "I was hoping we could talk tonight."_

_Delphine walked over and grabbed one of the glasses, downing it in nearly three gulps. She wiped her lips with the back of her hand and placed the empty glass back on the table._

_"C'mon," Delphine slurred, grabbing her hand. "Let's go."_

_"Stop for a second," Cosima said, pulling away. "Can you just talk to me?"_

_"What is there to talk about?"_

_"Us." Cosima said. "Our relationship?"_

_"Non," Delphine said, shaking her head. She grabbed for Cosima's hand again._

_"Hold on," Cosima said. "What are we doing? What is this exactly?" She pointed between herself and Delphine._

_Delphine sighed. "This," she said, mimicking Cosima's pointing, "is fun. We're having fun, okay? Don't make things so complicated."_

_"But are we like together…?"_

_"Oh my god, Cosima," Delphine groaned. "Do you want me to go?"_

_"No, I just-"_

_"Then take off your shirt."_

_Cosima watched as Delphine walked away and disappeared into the bedroom. Two seconds later she reappeared, sans shirt, and used a finger to beckon Cosima forward._

_"Come on, what're you waiting for?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to those who continue to read and comment, it certainly helps motivate. Happy reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa… an update! Thanks for reading and/or commenting.
> 
> PS: If you didn't see my note in Chapter 1: I highly recommend/encourage that you re-read the first four chapters of this story before continuing on with the new chapter. I recently went through each chapter and made edits. The overall story has not changed, but there are new details, and some references might confuse readers who haven't read the updated pages.

"It's was Fee's idea; I had nothing to do with it."

Sarah's ominous words were the first thing Cosima heard as she entered Bobby's Bar. Morning meant the bar was empty, but as Cosima's eyes adjusted to dim atmosphere, she noticed it didn't stop the two foster siblings from enjoying a mimosa. Felix swiveled around in his bar stool and patted the seat next to him.

"Sit, darling."

"It's a little early to be drinking, don't you think?" Cosima asked as she approached the pair slowly. Something was off. Sarah refused to look at her, opting instead to wipe out some glassware. Meanwhile Felix looked as pleased as punch.

"I don't know," Sarah finally said with a shrug. "I have a feeling you'll be joining us shortly."

"Oh god," Cosima groaned. "What did you do?"

Again, Felix patted the stool next to him. When Cosima finally took a seat, Felix pulled his phone from his pocket, tapped a few buttons, and placed it on the bar in front of her.

"Have you ever heard of the dating app Sapphire?" he asked.

Cosima's eyes grew wide. "No, you didn't…"

He did.

Cosima whipped her head to look at the phone on the bar, and there, staring back at her was a picture of herself. An online dating profile. Her online dating profile. Cosima picked up the phone and began reading aloud.

"I'm just a giant geek who loves science…?" Cosima stared between Sarah and Felix. She couldn't believe it. "Delete this now."

"Just shut up and keep scrolling," Felix commanded.

Cosima slid her finger over the device. "Interests: Science and women." She scrolled further. "That's it. There's nothing else."

"So, what do you think?" Felix beamed.

Cosima gaped at the pair. "Delete it."

"That's a yes on the mimosa then?" Sarah asked, causing Cosima to glare at her.

"What's so bad about it?" Felix asked. "I thought it was rather good."

"It's horrifying," Cosima said. "One – I'm not going to let an app decide who I love. And two…" Cosima faltered. "I have other interests besides science, you know!"

"We know, darling," Felix smiled. "We put women too. See?" Felix displayed the dating profile again. "If you just scroll down to 'interests' here-"

Cosima pushed the phone away. "Delete it. Now. Before someone thinks it's real."

"That's the thing…" Sarah said, sliding a mimosa in front of Cosima. "You've already got a date."

"Then cancel it," Cosima said.

"We can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's at Fung's…" Sarah pushed the mimosa closer. "…In an hour."

"WHAT?!" Cosima gaped at the duo.

"Oh, piss off, Cos," Sarah said waving a hand. "You've been in a shite mood all week. If anybody needs a good lay, it's you."

"Just think of her as your new scratching post," Felix said. When Cosima looked at him questioningly, he continued, "You know, something to rub yourself up against. If you don't put yourself out there, you'll never find what you're looking for."

Cosima grabbed the mimosa and downed it in three large gulps.

"Shall we go over the Dos and Don'ts, then?" Felix said, clapping his hands together. "First - Do be charming."

"Yeah," Sarah interjected, "so leave pissy Cosima at home."

"Do engage in conversation," Felix continued. "But don't bring up ex-girlfriends. Ex talk is like a kiss of death on a first date – do it and you won't be doing 'it.'"

"I think I've heard enough," Cosima groaned.

"One more," Felix said, grabbing her wrists. "Do change your outfit." He eyed her current wardrobe up and down. "Try to find something that shows a little more skin."

Cosima pulled her wrists away. "Okay, I'm leaving now." She began moving toward the exit.

"Her name is Shay!" Felix called after her. "You'll find all her details in your Sapphire inbox!"

When Cosima was gone, Felix turned back to Sarah with a smile.

"Look, Sarah. Our little lesbian is all grown up."

* * *

Surprisingly, Cosima listened to Felix and wore a shirt that exposed some skin. Cosima tugged at the midriff-baring top as she waited for her date, Shay, to arrive at Fung's. She ordered two coffees – one for herself, one for Shay – and hoped the woman was a coffee drinker. In the short amount of time that she had to prepare for the date, Cosima discovered that Shay was a blonde-haired, blue-eyed holistic healer who was into yoga.

Suddenly the little bell above the door jingled, announcing the arrival of a blonde-haired someone. She wore a white coat and floppy brimmed hat, and as soon as she spotted Cosima in the corner, she waved.

"Hi, I'm Shay," she introduced. "You must be Cosima."

"Yeah, that's me," Cosima smiled. She rose from her seat and the woman enveloped her in an awkward hug.

"Is this your first Sapphire date?" Shay asked, taking the seat opposite Cosima.

"Is it that obvious?"

Shay just smiled and pointed at the coffee in front of her. "This for me?"

"Yeah!" Cosima said. "Yeah, sorry. I didn't know what you liked, so I got a regular black coffee. Hope that's okay."

"It's perfect."

The two women sat in an awkward silence, sipping coffee and exchanging smiles.

"So, you from around here, or…" Cosima started, but stopped when Shay placed her hand over hers.

"This is how we do this, okay?" Shay smiled and pointed at herself. "Prairie girl, hated the winters, two siblings, parents split when I was six, blue, Barcelona."

"Barcelona's your favorite city?" As soon as Cosima asked the question, the little bell above the door rang again. Cosima looked over Shay's shoulder at the new customers. "Oh, shit."

"Not a fan of Barcelona?" Shay asked.

"No, it's just…" Cosima looked over her shoulder again. Shay turned too.

"Let me guess, an ex?"

Cosima hesitated before finally giving a nod. "Her name is Delphine." When Shay urged her to continue, Cosima began to babble. "She and I worked together. She's French. And, uh, we didn't end on the best of terms." Cosima paused. "Shit. I'm talking about my ex. I'm not supposed to do that."

Shay turned to look again. Cosima looked too. Delphine had arrived with Martin, and with their hands clasped together, the couple had chosen a booth on the opposite side of the shop. As far as Cosima knew, Delphine had no idea she was there. Suddenly Shay turned back to Cosima.

"Loving is short. Forgetting is long," Shay said, getting Cosima's attention back. "Pablo Neruda."

"That's beautiful," Cosima said. When Shay took a sip from her coffee, Cosima stole another glance at Delphine.

"Wow," Shay said, catching Cosima. "That must've been one hell of a breakup."

Cosima blushed. She was being rude. "Sorry, I'm just… Sorry. You were saying?"

Shay smiled. "You want to talk about the breakup?"

"God, no," Cosima waved her hands. "I mean, can you even call it a breakup if we weren't ever actually together, like as a couple?"

"I'm sensing a story here…"

"No, no story," Cosima said. "Our 'relationship'…" Cosima air quoted "…was all physical. We were really good at the physical stuff, not so much the talking."

"So, you two were fuck buddies," Shay said unfazed. Suddenly she gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh god, you fell for your fuck buddy."

Cosima groaned. "I shouldn't be talking about this with you. "

"No, no. Keep talking," Shay urged. "On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain. Friedrich Nietzsche."

Cosima gave a little laugh. "There's not much to it, actually. Our 'relationship'…" Cosima air quoted again "…just sort of ended. Maybe I expected too much…? Anyway, Delphine eventually found Martin and I quit my job."

"You still love her."

"No, I-"

"Yes, you do," Shay said. "I can see it in your eyes. They're the windows to the soul, you know."

"I've heard that." Cosima took a sip from her coffee, the two women enveloped in silence once again.

"Is that Martin?" Shay asked, nodding her head to the couple across the way. Suddenly she grabbed Cosima's hand and pulled her out of her seat. "Come on…"

"No, wait. Stop," Cosima tried tugging her hand away, but the petite blonde had a strong grip. "What are you doing?"

"Climbing the mountain of truth."

She pulled Cosima with her through Fung's, weaving in and out of tables before they finally approached Delphine and Martin. The couple was busy conversing, but stopped as soon as they felt the two new bodies nearby. When they turned, it took but half a second for both to recognize their former coworker.

"Cosima!" Martin exclaimed.

"Cosima…" Delphine whispered.

Then both pairs of eyes slid to Shay. Shay looked at Cosima expectantly.

"Oh, this is Shay," Cosima said. "Shay, this is Martin and Delphine." Cosima paused as she locked eyes with Delphine before quickly looking away. "We used to work together at the DYAD Institute."

Shay reached to shake both their hands. "Pleasure to meet you both. Cosima and I were just here on a date…" Shay paused to smiled "…when she recognized you. Mind if we join?"

"Not at all," Martin said. He rose and slid next to Delphine, offering Shay and Cosima the other booth seat. Shay nudged Cosima to slide in, placing her opposite Delphine.

And then there was deafening silence.

"So, I hear congratulations are in order," Cosima finally said. She looked at Martin and smiled. "Congrats on the promotion."

"Thanks," Martin beamed. "Off to Germany we go, right babe?" He wrapped his arm around Delphine and gave a squeeze.

"When do you two leave?" Shay asked. She mimicked his movements by looping her arm with Cosima's and pulling her close.

"In a week! Can you believe it?" Martin smiled over at Delphine. "This one here hasn't even started packing yet. She's been so busy with work lately; there was a day last week where she was stuck in the lab until four A.M."

Cosima half-listened as Shay and Martin launched into a conversation about work. She kept her eyes on Delphine. She knew the day in question. Delphine did too, because as she avoided Cosima's gaze, a slight blush began to creep up her neck. Suddenly Martin was calling Cosima's name.

"What?" Cosima stuttered, snapping her attention to the man.

"I was just saying that we miss you over at DYAD. A lot of scientists are missing their favorite sequencing tech," Martin smiled. With a nudge to Delphine he added, "I know Delphine certainly misses you."

Cosima turned to Delphine whose blush now rose to her cheeks. Suddenly she nudged Martin.

"Pardon," Delphine said, motioning for Martin to move. "I need to use the restroom."

Once she was free from the booth's confines, Delphine practically sprinted from the group. Cosima waited two seconds before nudging at Shay.

"You know," Cosima said, looking to where the blonde ran off, "I think I have to use the bathroom too. Excuse me…"

* * *

When Cosima entered the small bathroom she found Delphine hunched over the sink, her hands planted on either side of the porcelain basin. She breathed deeply, exhaling slowly before sucking in another breath.

"Delphine…" Cosima said.

Delphine whirled around at the voice. When she saw Cosima, she narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

"So, you want to play games?" she spat.

Cosima furrowed her brow. "What…?"

"Shay?" Delphine said. "Really?"

"We're just on a date." Cosima said. "Wait. Are you, like, jealous of her?"

Delphine snorted. "Jealous?" she asked. "Why would I be jealous? I have Martin."

"You also had Martin when you sought me out at the bar." Cosima took a step closer to the blonde. "And when you begged me to bring you back to my place." Another step. "And when you kissed me." Suddenly she was inches from Delphine. "What if I had answered no that night, huh? What if I had asked you to stay?"

Delphine shoved Cosima back, making a beeline for the door. Cosima quickly followed, and as Delphine pulled the door open, Cosima used her hand to push it shut again.

"Answer me, Delphine!" The two women were inches apart. Delphine could feel Cosima's warm breath on her neck as she spoke. "What if you had stayed?"

Delphine turned her head and stared Cosima in the eye. "It would've been the biggest mistake of my life. And it would've broken Martin's heart."

Cosima recoiled. Delphine's response angered her, hurt her. She dropped her hand from the door and took a step back. "And what about my heart?" Cosima asked. "Why was mine okay to break?"

Delphine hung her head as a quiet sniffle escaped her. "I'm sorry, Cosima," she whispered.

The two women stood in silence. Their chests heaved. Their breaths came out in shallow puffs. And just as Cosima reached for Delphine, the blonde yanked the bathroom door open and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the Cosima & Shay dating convo is basically verbatim to the one from Orphan Black. It worked nicely within the story, so it stays. Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all those who continue to read/comment! Here's a new chapter. Let me know what you think!

_“It would’ve been the biggest mistake of my life … I’m sorry, Cosima.”_

There they were again. Delphine’s unforgiving words slipped into Cosima’s thoughts, replaying in her mind like a broken record. It had been a week since the Frenchwoman had uttered the words in the bathroom at Fung’s, but Cosima couldn’t stop thinking about them. They plagued her every thought. _She_ plagued her every thought.

Cosima glanced at her watch, quickening her steps as Bobby’s Bar came into view. She hoped Felix would be inside the bar. Hell, she prayed he was inside. Morning visit by Felix usually meant a mimosa would be pushed her way too, and today she really neededthat drink.

Pushing open the door of Bobby’s Bar, Cosima was met by a mixture of laughter and whines. Sara’s laughter, Felix’s whines.

“Do not snap towels at me, Sarah!” Felix yelped. He swatted his arms at his sister as Sarah began winding the bar towel for another crack. Before she let it fly; however, her eyes fells on Cosima.

“Well, well, well. Look who it is.” Sarah slung the dirty rag over her shoulder and leaned forward on the bar. “Good morning, sunshine. What brings you by? You don’t work today.”

Cosima ignored the question, her eyes darting to the tall champagne flute in front of Felix. _Bingo._ She nodded at the drink. “I’ll take one of those.”

Sarah smirked. “Long night?”

Again, Cosima ignored the question, settling instead onto a bar stool. With a shrug, Sarah began preparing the drink, expertly mixing the champagne and orange juice before sliding the beverage to Cosima.

“What Sarah really wants to know is…” Felix swiveled in his bar stool and faced Cosima, giving her a wink. “How’re things going with the new blonde? Shag her yet?”

Cosima rolled her eyes. “No,” she said, taking a long swig from her drink. “How many times do I have to tell you? It’s not like that.”

“That’s the whole point of Sapphire, Cosima!” Felix exclaimed. “Lesbians lookin’ for lovin’.”

“Yeah,” Sarah added, “You’ve been seeing Shay for nearly a week now. Since when have you been one to take things slow?

“We’re just friends,” Cosima huffed.

Felix leaned in close to Cosima and placed his hands on her knees. “Darling, the last thing you need is another friend.” Cosima tried pulling away, but the man shook his head and pulled her closer. “No, what you need is a distraction. Someone who’ll help you get over Delphine, not back under her.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Cosima freed herself from Felix’s grasp and downed the rest of her mimosa. “Delphine and I are definitely over. She made that _very_ clear.”

Sarah whipped around and eyed Cosima. “Wait, you spoke to her? When?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Cosima said. “You got what you wanted, Sarah.”

“What I wanted?” Sarah leaned over the bar, her voice nearly a growl. “Your relationship with Delphine was toxic. This is what you _needed_.”

Cosima and Sarah stared daggers at each other, neither budging until Felix loudly cleared his throat.

“Now that that’s all settled, what’re your plans for the day, Cosima?” Felix looked between the two women, hoping the new conversation topic would ease the angry tension. “Spending time with Shay? Perhaps a nice, little romantic date is in order?”

Cosima gave Sarah a final glare, before turning to Felix. “She’s joining Scott and me for an early lunch.”

“Oh, God.” Felix rubbed his forehead and groaned. “So, definitely not romantic. What a lucky girl, that Shay.”

“Like I said,” Cosima said, hopping down from her bar stool, “it’s not like that.” She lightly patted the boy on the back before reaching over his shoulder and swiping his mimosa from the bar. 

“Oi!” Felix lunged for the drink, but Cosima was too quick. She easily dodged the boy and brought the glass to her lips, swallowing what was left of the cocktail. “You little…”

“Bye Felix,” Cosima said, offering the boy a cheeky smile and the empty champagne flute. To the brunette behind the bar, she gave a simple nod. And then she turned to leave.

“Hey, wait!” Felix called after her. “When do we get to meet Shay?”

* * *

“There it is – The Mexican Cantina. Take a right here!”

Shay followed Cosima’s instructions, pulling the light blue VW Bug into the nearly deserted parking lot of The Mexican Cantina. Once parked, the blonde peered at the Mexican bar and restaurant before her. The place was quite small, decorated with bright blue walls. Mismatched tables and chairs dotted the outside sidewalk.

“This is it? It looks so…” Shay’s words trailed off as her eyes did another sweep of the building.

“I know it doesn’t look like much, but they have the best Mexican food in all of Toronto.” Cosima pushed open the car door and slid out from the VW Bug. She waited for Shay to follow before she continued. “Plus it’s Scott’s favorite place. He won’t eat anywhere else. Speaking of Scott…” Cosima nodded at the lone figure occupying one of the mismatched table/chair sets. He waved as the two women approached.

“Cosima, hey!” Scott smiled at his old coworker. “Good to see you’re still never on time.”

“Oh, you know me – Kind of always late, so kind of always sorry.” Cosima pulled the boy in for a quick hug, which caused him to blush. Then she pointed to Shay. “This is my friend Shay. Hope you don’t mind that she tagged along. We’re both craving margaritas.”

As soon as the boy’s eyes fell on the blonde his blush intensified to an even deeper shade of red. He dropped his head and awkwardly held his hand out to the woman. With a weird, little snort-laugh he managed to stutter out, “Hi, I’m Scott.”

From there it was all small talk. Shay regaled the pair with stories about her life, including growing up on a prairie. Cosima updated Scott on her life, mainly telling him about her adventures as the world’s worst bartender. And Scott updated Cosima on his life, telling the woman about his latest achievement in Agricola – a goat and milking stool! The three shared laughs (and for Scott, some blushes) as they enjoyed the Mexican cuisine and ample margaritas. When all was said and done, the trio leaned back in their chairs with full bellies and a nice buzz from the tequila.

“Delphine leaves today,” Scott suddenly blurted.

Cosima bolted upright in her chair and snapped her head toward the boy. Truth was Cosima knew Delphine was leaving today. She’d been counting down the days to her departure ever since the Frenchwoman tracked her down to Bobby’s Bar just those few short weeks ago. She was dreading this day, fearing it, so she handled it the only way she knew how – with alcohol.

“Oh yeah?” The words wavered as they left Cosima’s lips, and she tried covering it by taking another sip of her margarita.

“Yep,” Scott nodded. The boy was completely oblivious to the sudden change in his friend’s demeanor. “She cleaned out her office and turned in her ID badge yesterday. Told me she’s been transferred to the DYAD Institute in Germany! How cool is that?”

“Wait, you talked to her?”

“Yeah, she came down and said goodbye to all the techs. Thanked us for all our hard work over the years.” Scott sat a little straighter in his chair, no doubt proud of the recognition. “Oh, and get this – she pulled me aside to personally thank me.”

“She personally thanked you?” Cosima urged the boy to continue.

“Yeah!” Scott leaned closer and lowered his voice. “It was kind of weird actually. She started getting all choked up and thanked me for – and I quote – ‘letting her break the rules,’ whatever that means.”

Cosima suddenly got flashbacks of her and Delphine’s first meeting. “How did she, uh…” Cosima cleared her throat and took another sip from her margarita “… How did she look?”

“Good, maybe a little tired. I could tell she’d been crying,” Scott said. “Why?”

“Oh, I… I…” Cosima fumbled for words. Scott stared at her oddly. She could feel herself getting hot.

“Does the DYAD Institute give tours, Scott?” Shay suddenly interrupted. The direct question caused the boy to blush and stammer, causing him to forget his question. Shay gave him a big smile. “You know, I’d just love to a meet the genetic mutants.”

“Sure,” Scott stuttered, giving another one of his little snort-laughs. “And if you want, I can even sequence your genome!”

* * *

Scott made good on his promise of a DYAD tour. He showed both Shay and Cosima the ins and outs of the research facility, even taking them through the old wing where the institute’s most sensitive research took place. At one point he reoffered to sequence someone’s genome, but Shay respectfully declined, saying she didn’t want to share that information with a corporation.

Cosima had to give Shay credit. The blonde politely listened to all of Scott’s anecdotes during the tour, even though many of his stories were filled with scientific mumbo jumbo that only a DYAD employee would find interesting. Eventually the trio ended up by the upstairs offices.

“Cosima, get this – I have an office now!” Scott released another little snort-laugh and did a little celebratory shuffle move. “Come on, you’ve got to see it.”

He pulled the women forward, leading them through the winding labyrinth of DYAD offices. Cosima was vaguely familiar with the setup. She had been up to the offices before. Well, she had been up to the offices once before. Okay, she had been up to one particular office on one occasion. Though that memory wasn’t a particularly fond one for Cosima…

The trio continued walking, passing office after office, nameplate after nameplate until they turned a corner. And then Cosima knew exactly where they were. Just a couple more steps and they’d be right next to the office that, just a day ago, belonged to one Delphine Cormier.

Cosima gulped. She was suddenly anxious. But why? She already knew Delphine wouldn’t be in there. Scott had said she cleared out yesterday. But maybe she forgot something? Maybe she was behind that door right now…? Cosima took a step forward and, as if on cue, the door – Delphine’s door – suddenly swung open.

Cosima held her breath. She waited for the Frenchwoman to emerge. Waited for long legs and sleek blonde hair to cross the threshold. Waited for –

And then a janitor in blue coveralls stepped out, dragging a vacuum behind him.

“Whoops, ‘scuse me,” the janitor said, squeezing around the trio. And just like that, Delphine’s door closed with a soft click.

“Cosima?”

Cosima shook her head, Shay’s soft voice bringing her back to the present.  Shay was staring at her; deep blue eyes peering into her soul.  The blonde squeezed Cosima’s hand, giving her a sad smile.

“I’ll meet you downstairs when you and Scott are done,” Shay said.

“Uh, okay,” Cosima said, furrowing her brow. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just need some fresh air.”

Cosima and Scott watched Shay walk away. Before she left; however, she called over her shoulder a final “Bye, Scott,” which in turn caused the boy to blush again.

After that, Cosima allowed herself to be dragged to Scott’s new office, but not before she reached out to casually slide her hand over the office handle that once belonged to Doctor Delphine Cormier.

* * *

Cosima was surprised to find that Scott’s office was really quite nice. Not only did it offer a floor to ceiling window with a view, but like everything else at the DYAD Institute, it was modern in appearance – very white, very clean, and very sterile. Scott had decorated though. Board games littered nearly every surface. There were also quite a few pictures of his cat, Denise.

 “Do you want your job back?”

The boy’s words were so sudden, Cosima nearly gave herself whiplash when she whirled at them.

“What?” Cosima asked.

“If you could get your old sequencing job back, would you want it?” He repeated the question slowly, keeping his voice low. Gone was his old, playful self. He was suddenly very serious.

“Uh, yes…?”

“Because I’ve been hearing things… rumors…” He took a deep breath and stepped closer to Cosima “… and if we play our cards right, I think I can get you your old job back.”

“Really?” Cosima had never considered returning to her old sequencing tech job, but now that both Martin and Delphine were gone, there really wasn’t a reason for her to stay away. Besides, Cosima figured, she couldn’t hide at Bobby’s Bar forever. “But how’re you...?”

Scott waved his hands. “Let me talk to Doctor Nealon. You just keep your fingers crossed.”

* * *

When Cosima finally emerged from the DYAD Institute she found Shay waiting for her, just as she said she would. The blonde was leaned against the hood of her light blue VW Bug and when Cosima stepped toward the woman she produced a single red tulip from behind her back.

“Where’d you get that?” Cosima giggled.

Shay pointed, and as Cosima followed her direction she noticed – for the first time ever – DYAD’s colorful tulip garden at the building’s entrance. The flowers were perfectly manicured, save for one missing red tulip right in the middle of the patch.

“Careful. They might send the genetic mutants after you.” Cosima grabbed for the flower, but Shay pulled it away.

“It’s not for you,” Shay said.

Cosima paused and tilted her head.  If it wasn’t for her, then who?

“It’s for Delphine,” Shay said, answering Cosima’s silent question. She handed the flower to Cosima before pushing herself off the VW’s hood and making her way around to the driver side door. “Get in. We’re going to the airport.” 


	7. Chapter 7

_“Get in … We’re going to the airport.”_

Shay was already buckled behind the wheel of her VW Bug before Cosima regained control of her body. She remained frozen on DYAD’s sidewalk, the single red tulip still clutched between her now sweaty palms. Her mind was racing, her world was spinning; everything seemed to be moving at breakneck speed, except her.

“I’m sorry,” Cosima finally blurted. Even though she hadn’t moved from her spot on the sidewalk, her breath came out in quick, shallow puffs.  She leaned over and peered at Shay through the open passenger side window, “But I thought you said we were going to the airport.”

“I did,” Shay said with a playful smile. She used her hand to beckon Cosima over. “Get in. Let’s go get your girl.”

Cosima gaped at Shay, her eyes bugging out to twice their size. With a violent shake of her head, Cosima began pacing the sidewalk, her hands a flurry of waves. “That’s a bad idea, like really bad. Delphine doesn’t want to see me. Plus she’s with Martin; they’re, like, in love.” Cosima suddenly stopped her pacing. “Did you know they live together?”

Cosima whirled around to face Shay, only to find the blonde right in front of her.

“Cosima.” Shay’s voice was determined as she dropped her hands on Cosima’s shoulders. “You need to settle down. Take a deep breath.” She waited as the girl took two large breaths, watching as her chest rose and fell with each one. “There is no intensity of love or feeling that does not involve the risk of crippling hurt. It is a duty to take this risk, to love and feel with defense or reserve.”

Cosima stared at the blonde, felt herself relaxing at the poetic words. “That’s beautiful…”

“It’s William S. Burroughs. Now…” Shay suddenly dropped her hands from Cosima’s shoulders and moved behind her. With a gentle push she steered the brunette toward the car. “…quit crushing your tulip and get in the damn car.”

* * *

“What exactly is the plan here?”

Cosima’s voice sounded so loud in the noiseless car. After five minutes of small talk the two women had fallen into a lull, neither knowing what to do or say. They’d be nearing the airport soon. Shay had raced through traffic, navigating the highway as if a prize awaited them at the finish. With each car they passed, Cosima felt her anxiety growing, along with a fresh, new wave of panic.

“Huh?” Shay quickly glanced at Cosima before bringing her eyes back to the road, taking that exact moment to make a particular ballsy move around a semi-trailer.

“The plan,” Cosima repeated. “What am I supposed to do?”

Shay’s eyes quickly glanced from Cosima to the tulip in her lap before going back to the road. “You see that little wilted tulip in your lap? You’re going to give that to Delphine. And then you’re going to tell her the truth.”

Cosima groaned. “Shay, I’m serious.”

“So am I.” Shay paused, craning her neck over her shoulder as she darted the VW Bug past two more cars. “Look, falling in love is scary and dirty and messy, I know. But it’s also exciting and beautiful. And it’s worth fighting for. And from what you’ve told me, Delphine is worth fighting for.”

“I’m not falling in love.”

“Yes, Cosima, you are,” Shay sighed. “I see it every time someone mentions her name around you, or when you longingly stare at her office door handle.” The blonde grinned, giving Cosima a playful bump. “You’re falling in love with Delphine.”

“No, I mean…” Cosima’s voice was low. She kept her eyes down as her fingers picked at the red tulip in her lap. “I’m already in love.” After a pause, Cosima raised her eyes and faced Shay. “I love Delphine.”   

“That’s it. That’s what you need to tell her.”

There was another lull between the women as Shay navigated the car off the highway, every so often passing a sign indicating the airport was near. It wasn’t until the bustling airport came into the view that Shay spoke again.

“I mean, really. How could Delphine not feel the same way?”

* * *

_Cosima turned down a hallway. Then another. Then another. With every turn she was met with more of the same – bright fluorescents, crisp white walls and heavy wooden doors. Her aimless wandering had gotten her nowhere, and as Cosima turned down another long hallway she wondered if she was perhaps going in circles._

_“Welcome to the DYAD offices,” Cosima mumbled to herself. She backtracked down one hall and turned down another, only to find more white walls and wooden doors. “What the hell…”_

_Technically she wasn’t supposed to be up here. The DYAD offices were reserved for the higher-ups – the important people – not lowly sequencing techs like herself. But there was a particular blonde she needed to see._

_She pushed forward, passing office after office, wooden door after wooden door, until her eyes found the nameplate of the woman she sought – Dr. Delphine Cormier. Curling her lips into a smirk, Cosima raised her hand to knock, but stopped. There were voices – two voices – behind the door, a man’s and Delphine’s._

_Cosima pulled her hand back, and just in time too. Just as her hand fell to her side, Delphine’s office door swung open revealing an older gentleman. Cosima had never seen the man before, but whoever he was he looked important, donning an expensive suit and slicked grey hair. The tall man merely looked down at Cosima, giving her a quick nod before stepping past her. Not soon after that, he rounded a corner and was gone from sight._

_Cosima turned back to Delphine’s door, raising her hand to knock again, when suddenly the door swung open, this time revealing Delphine._

_“Cosima!” Delphine gasped. She looked down and quickly wiped at her eyes. “What are you doing here?”_

_“Hey, what’s up?” Cosima smiled, giving a small wave. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”_

_Delphine paled. Poking her head out into the hall, the blonde checked left then right, before grabbing Cosima’s arm and yanking her inside the office._

_“You’re not supposed to be up here.” Delphine hissed, putting distance between them. “What do you want?”_

_Cosima shrugged, taking a moment to scan her new surroundings. Delphine’s office was just as crisp and clean as the hallways, occupied mostly by a large desk and an antique armoire of trinkets._

_“Who was that guy?” Cosima asked. She studied Delphine’s knick-knacks as she waited for an answer._

_“What guy?”_

_Cosima turned and smirked. “The important-looking dude who just walked out of your office.” When Delphine said nothing, Cosima pushed further. “Expensive suit. Grey hair. Extremely tall.”_

_“He’s no one,” Delphine shrugged. “A colleague.”_

_“I’ve never seen him before,” Cosima said._

_Delphine scoffed. “Cosima, over two thousand people work at this DYAD Institute alone. You think you know everyone in the building? You’re just a sequencing tech.”_

_Cosima raised her eyebrows. “Wow, okay…”_

_“I didn’t mean it like that,” Delphine sighed. She checked her watch before letting out another long sigh. “What do you want, Cosima?”_

_“Like I said, I haven’t seen you in a while. You haven’t been by my apartment at all this week.” Cosima took a step toward Delphine, who in turn, stepped away. “Is everything okay?”_

_“I’ve just been busy.” Delphine turned away from the brunette as she spoke, opting instead to sit behind the large desk. “Why don’t you have a seat?”_

_Cosima eyed Delphine as she slowly sank into the chair opposite the blonde. She knew something was wrong, she could tell by the way Delphine refused to look her in the eye._

_“Delphine…?”_

_“Listen, Cosima. This thing that we’re doing, you and me, um…” Delphine’s eyes looked everywhere but at Cosima as she spoke “…it needs to stop.” When Cosima didn’t say anything, Delphine continued, her words sounding more detached as she went. “It was a mistake to begin this – whatever you want to call it – in the first place, and I regret ever--”_

_“Whoa, Delphine, wait.” Cosima tilted her head, trying to meet Delphine’s eyes. “Can you just talk to me?”_

_Slowly Delphine raised her eyes to meet Cosima’s. “It’s over. I can’t do this anymore. Do you understand?”_

_Delphine’s words felt like a punch to the gut. Cosima sank further into her chair, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill._

_“Martin has asked me out.” Delphine continued in the same robotic tone. “I’ve accepted. I think it can be something good, something meaningful.”_

_“Martin?” Cosima asked. “Martin Funt? The assistant?”_

_Delphine dropped her gaze again, and for a moment neither woman said a word._

_“I love you.” Cosima’s bottom lip quivered as she forced out the quick, teary-eyed confession. As soon as she said it, Delphine turned away, hiding her face._

_“You should go, Cosima.” Delphine’s words were filled with tears too, but she kept her back to the brunette. “I’ve got work to do.”_

* * *

“This was a mistake, we should go.”

Cosima blurted the words as she reached for the seatbelt buckle behind her. What was she thinking? Delphine didn’t want her, and no love confession was going to change that. It didn’t change things back then, and it certainly wouldn’t change things now. With shaking hands, Cosima tried to click the seatbelt in, getting angrier with each attempt before finally giving up altogether.

“Okay, settle down,” Shay said, reaching over to cover Cosima’s hands with her own. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“We need to go.” Cosima reached for the keys in the ignition, but Shay swatted her hand away.

“We can’t go now. What about Delphine? You picked a flower for her and everything.”

Cosima glared at the blonde, tossing the wilted tulip from the car. “Delphine doesn’t want me, okay? So just go.”

“Doesn’t want you? How can you say that? Isn’t she the one that came looking for you?” Shay asked. When Cosima said nothing, Shay sighed and placed her hand over the brunette’s once more. “What are you so afraid of, Cosima? This is your chance to start anew.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Shay.” Cosima pulled her hand away and turned to look out the window. “Delphine is leaving. This is where it ends. For good.”

“Are you sure? Because Delphine is right over there…”

Sure enough, there Delphine stood, dressed down in a simple jacket and jeans, her blonde hair pulled into a messy ponytail, her eyes covered by a pair of dark sunglasses. She was standing on the curb of the airport drop off area, having just exited from a taxi. Her expression was unreadable, neither happy nor sad, just there. Next to her; however, Martin wore a bright smile.

“What’s it going to be?” Shay asked. “Stay or go?”

Cosima watched as Martin placed a quick kiss on Delphine’s cheek before running to help the cabbie pull the suitcases from the taxi’s trunk.

 “Just go,” Cosima whispered. “Please.”

“Fine,” Shay sighed, “but know this: true love always has a habit of coming back. Always.”

With a turn of the key, the VW Bug fired right up and soon they were pulling out of the airport’s parking lot. Shay drove purposely slow, practically bringing the vehicle to a crawl as they passed the drop off curb where Delphine still stood, though now surrounded by suitcases. And then just like that, they were pulling away from the airport, away from Delphine.

* * *

“Thank you for coming in on such short notice, Cosima.”

Cosima nodded as she stepped into Doctor Nealon’s large DYAD office. How she ended up there was a complete blur. Just an hour earlier, during the very quiet ride home from the airport, she had received a hurried phone call from Scott urging her to come to the DYAD Institute.   _Get her now_ , he had huffed, _it’s urgent_. Shay, of course, had complied with the odd request, dropping her off at the institute. Upon her arrival, Scott had whisked her up to the DYAD offices and practically shoved her into Doctor Nealon’s office, but not before offering a quick _good luck!_  

“Scott said it was urgent,” Cosima said, “so here I am.”

“Ah, yes. Scott.” Doctor Nealon smiled from his seat behind his desk. “For some reason the boy thinks he owes you. Please, sit.”

Cosima did as she was told, taking the seat across from Nealon. In all her years at the DYAD Institute she had never directly dealt with the scientist. He was a bit of a myth, and seeing him in person made her a bit nervous.

“So, Scott says you’d like to come back and work for the institute,” Nealon said.

Cosima nodded. “I’d love to come back, if at all possible. I know I left rather abruptly last time, but I also know the institute is always in need of sequencing techs. I figured with, uh, Mister Funt being promoted and Doctor Cormier being transferred, you might need some more help here.”

“Transferred?” Nealon furrowed his brow. “Doctor Cormier has been promoted. She’s the new Director of the Dyad Institute in Frankfurt, the youngest ever too.”

“What?” Cosima nearly fell out of her chair at the news.  

“I’m not privy to all the details,” Nealon continued, “but it was at the request of DYAD’s chief executive officer, Rupert Funt. I guess it’s been in the works for months now, though the whole thing has been very hush-hush.”

“Rupert Funt?” Cosima said.

“You’ve probably never met him before. He only pops in from time to time. Tall, important-looking fellow…” Nealon explained.  “Anyway, sounds like you’ve already heard of his son, Martin Funt?”

Cosima bobbed her head in a half-nod. She was speechless. Delphine, Director of the DYAD Institute in Frankfurt?  Martin Funt, son to DYAD CEO Rupert Funt?

“But that’s not why I called you here,” Nealon continued. “How would you feel about leading an instructional seminar about the duties of a sequencing tech?”

Cosima grinned and nodded. “I’d totally be on board.”

“The position is temporary, maybe only a few weeks,” Nealon explained, “but the DYAD Institute in Frankfurt has just hired a bunch of new techs, and they’d like an experienced member of the team to show the new hires the ropes.”

Cosima’s smile dropped. “Wait, did you just say DYAD in Frankfurt?”

Doctor Nealon nodded. “So, what do you say? You up for it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who continue to read and/or comment! I really appreciate it. Let me know what you think of the latest chapter!


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